Spring Breakers (Harmony Korine, 2013)

What's it about? Bored of their home town, four college girls (Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine) rob a restaurant to fund their spring break vacation. Their fun adventure takes a dark turn when they fall in with the charismatic, drug-dealing gangsta rapper 'Alien' (James Franco).

Is it any good? With this deliberately provocative film, Korine sets out to satirize the all-American spring break tradition and the increasing sexualization of contemporary pop culture. How best to do this? With lots of tits, of course. Tits, tits, tits! Big ones, little ones, bouncy ones, perky ones, wet ones, slo-mo ones, drunk ones, cocaine-covered ones. TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTS 4EVA, BITCHES!!!! Just to break things up, there's a bit with Franco deep-throating a gun silencer and serenading the girls with a Britney Spears song, whilst they cavort about in tiny bikinis and pink balaclavas. That's certainly a bit odd. What's all that about, I wonder? Never mind, here comes the titties again! This time with added machine guns. Now, seriously, is that the sort of thing you would pay good money to see? Wait!! Come back, ye perverts! Let me finish!!

Because, despite all that, it's not very good. Korine presumably feels that by presenting his story in a hallucinatory fashion, with hyper-real colours and disjointed scenes accompanied by Terrence Malick-esque voiceover ruminations, this elevates the film to a subversive commentary on youth culture, rather than an extended MTV video made by a lecherous old man. Maybe it does, but I didn't really get it, to be honest, despite the tits. In fact, I'm not even sure there is even anything to get, or maybe I'm just not down with the motherfuckin' kids. Anyway, I don't think I'll bother my jiggling, neon-bikini-clad ass thinking about it any more. You might as well just watch that uncut Blurred Lines video. Then again maybe I'm just jealous that instead of spring break, I had Easter Holy Week when I was a teenager. Perhaps Korine will make a sequel about that, starring a twerking Miley Cyrus....

I don't trust you. What do others think? This one got a lot of people hot under the collar, not only in its casting of wholesome Disney alumni Gomez and Hudgens as hedonistic party animals, but in the way the camera leers over them for most of the film. Korine has defended this in various interviews and audiences have been split down the middle about whether it's a witty satire or pure (s)exploitation. Either way, I don't really care. Then again, tits.

What does the Fonz think? Poor. Where does this Spring Break take place again?

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