The 10 Best.....er.....Worst Movies Ever?

An article in today's Irish Times reminded me that the excellent website They Shoot Pictures Don't They? has compiled their list of the 1000 Greatest Films Ever Made, by collating information from countless 'Top 10' and 'Best of' lists from various movie critics and sites around the Web. The entire list can be viewed at the link above, but the Top 10 are shown below. Rather than sing their praises, though, let's see what people really think of them. Here's some one-star user reviews from the movie entries on the invaluable IMDb website, with viewpoints ranging from valid, to heartfelt, to hopelessly confused, which would suggest these Top 10 movies aren't all they're cracked up to be.

1. CITIZEN KANE (Orson Welles / 1941 / USA)

Is it any good? "Yet another movie that people pretend to like just to be like sheep and follow everybody else. The story is terrible and boring. I honestly nearly swallowed my tongue and died when i saw this was in the top 30 movies of all time. I regret watching this movie, if you haven't watched it yet i advice you NOT to watch it ! its PATHETIC !"

 



2. VERTIGO (Alfred Hitchcock / 1958 / USA)

Is it any good? "This is the most boring film I have ever seen and you will think the same if you see it. This movie goes on forever and never stops ever until it ends. I wish this film had stayed away from me. It's all about an old guy in a car who is chasing a woman and that's it. There is more car driving in this film than in maybe a hundred other films all put together. He never even catches her!  I'd rather tidy my bedroom than see another minute of that old guy driving. I don't want to see this film or anything like it ever again."

3. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (Stanley Kubrick / 1968 / UK)

Is it any good? "One of the worst movies ever made - 2 hours wasted time, extremely boring story, a slow pace turn into a boring pace, made especially for drug addicts"

 







4. THE RULES OF THE GAME (Jean Renoir / 1939 / France)

Is it any good? "The plot is 'I love you. He loves you. She loves you. They want you. I want you. He wants her. She wants him. They want dead rabbits.' This movie sucks."

 







5. TOKYO STORY (Yasujiro Ozu / 1953 / Japan)

Is it any good? "Half way through it i was beginning to believe that we were watchin a pair of old buskers going from house to house talking about how much sleep they had. Wot a load of crap!"

 






6. 8½ (Federico Fellini / 1963 / Italy)

Is it any good? "Artsy-schmartsy, pseudo-intellectual, overindulgent, Felliniesque Wankfest" 

 








7. SUNRISE (F.W. Murnau / 1927 / USA)

Is it any good? "It goes beyond sick. The hero is a good "German Ideal" male, dark haired like Hitler, and the heroine is the blonde. This goes with the Nazi genocide program, as the movie bends over backward to justify the hero attempting to kill the dark haired woman. Yes, it is dumbfounding. Yes, no rational person could call this anything but a pile of crap. These sick movies helped the Hitler genocide program, and in fact were the cause. It is truly sickening, and only a raving Nazi lunatic could endorse this garbage."

  8. THE GODFATHER (Francis Ford Coppola / 1972 / USA)

Is it any good? "What is all of the fuss about? This is without doubt the most boring movie that I have ever seen. The only reason that I kept watching was that I could not believe that everyone raves about this film and kept waiting for something interesting to happen. The only movie that comes close to this one for sheer awlfulness is Godfather II."

 


9. THE SEARCHERS (John Ford / 1956 / USA)

Is it any good? "I cannot for the life of me understand why this slow,laboured and soporific western is so highly regarded as I find it certainly to be the most over-rated movie of all time and undoubtedly one of the most boring and that is the greatest sin of all. A below average western 'adventure' that falls further short in entertainment value than the worst episodes of BONANZA."

 


10. SEVEN SAMURAI (Akira Kurosawa / 1954 / Japan)

Is it any good? "In my life, I have had the extreme misfortune to see some of the worst movies ever captured on film. I'm talking extreme bad, plot holes, no character development, nothing. Terrible movies which make you want to slowly pull your eyeballs out and tear your hair out of your head. None of them...NONE OF THEM....are nearly as terrible as this terrible piece of crap. THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!! Whoever directed this abomination should be ashamed of himself and his family should hide in shame for the rest of their existence. As I lay on my death bed, thinking about how my life has been used, this terrible piece of crap will be my only regret in my life. I hate you movie!!! From the bottom of my cold, dark soul I hate you!!!!!!!! Take my advice, stay away from this abomination. STAY AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE!!! For the love of God and all that is holy stay away. This movie will slowly drain your soul and life away over its completely unnecessary three and a half hour run time."

So there you go - not everyone likes them. For the record, I think they're all pretty good, and some are brilliant. But to paraphrase the great Dirty Harry (#836 on the list, incidentally), movie reviews are like assholes - look at too many of them and you start to feel dirty since most of them are full of shit.