2012 - The Year in Review

Preamble

To be honest, I feel a bit of a fraud doing this. About 350 films were released in the UK in 2012, of which I watched about 20. That hardly puts me in a credible position to select the best of these. So first of all, here’s my Top 5 reasons for not seeing more films.

1. Too many films, not enough time
2. Lack of choice in nearby cinemas
3. Don’t really know how to download pirate versions of internet
4. Life, The Universe, Everything
5. General laziness
 

So that’s my disclaimer. But did you know that approximately 80% of all films released this year were terrible? Luckily I have installed myself with a sensitive shite-filter which means I sample the icing from the top of the cake, rather than the yucky, soggy mix of stuff at the bottom. So, for what it’s worth, here’s my highlights of the year.

Five Best Films of 2012

1. The Muppets
2. Skyfall
3. Martha Marcy May Marlene
4. Brave
5. The Hunger Games

 

Five Films I Watched That Would Have Made My Top 5 of 2011 if I Had Seen Them in Time

1. A Separation
2. We Need to Talk About Kevin
3. Take Shelter
4. Incendies
5. Crazy Stupid Love

Five other films I haven’t seen but which are popping up regularly on various Top 10 Lists of the year

1. The Master
2. Silver Linings Playbook
3. Amour
4. Beasts of the Southern Wild
5. Holy Motors

Top Three Turkeys of 2012

1. The Innkeepers
2. Prometheus
3. War Horse

 

Five Best Performances of 2012

1. Elizabeth Olsen in Martha Marcy May Marlene
2. Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games
3. Matthew McConaughey in Killer Joe
4. Michael Fassbender in Shame
5. Martin Freeman in The Hobbit

The Lovely Girls Competition

 

 

1. Felicity Jones in Like Crazy
2. Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games
3. Berenice Bejo in The Artist

Surprise of the Year!

21 Jump Street being really rather good

Disappointment of the Year

The Dark Knight Rises being good, rather than great

 

Best Beard

 

1. The Pirate Captain in The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!
2. Wes Bentley in The Hunger Games
3. Ben Affleck in Argo

 

The Ten Bears Award for Most Bears in a Movie

1. Brave (five)
2. The Muppets (two)
3. Ted (one)

 

The “Holy Shit! I'd forgot all about them!” Award

1. Kelly McGillis in The Innkeepers
2. Lenny Kravitz in The Hunger Games
3. Sam Jones in Ted

 

Best Muscial Moment

 

 

 

The barber shop quartet version of Smells Like Teen Spirit in The Muppets

 

Some Random Moments Which I Quite Enjoyed

The Point Break joke in Avengers Assemble

The exploding chicken truck in 21 Jump Street

The poitin drinking in Grabbers

Bilbo takes pity on Gollum in The Hobbit

The betting scene in The Cabin in the Woods

The car crashes in Carancho

 

New Year Resolutions

1. Watch more films
2. Stop procrastinating
3. Ach...I'll finish this tomorrow.